I had just finished reading a book by Adeline Yen. It is a very touching and pathetic story of the author's life since she was born. After reading, I had come to realise how fortunate we are in this century and blessed to be in the arms of our loved ones.
I had been so lazy these few days. I had not been doing anything except sleeping, daydreaming and going out. Eee....I cannot continue like this. There are 2 major assignments I need to accomplish asap. Argh....I must finish it up. Although I had not been working, thoughts were still running through in my head. Jobs, family, illness and friends. Mad has once again set me thinking of my future. She is a very clear headed friend. She asked me if I really want to go into a profession I may not see myself in in 3 years time. What shall I do after that? She asked me to go into fashion and design industry. I would very much love to but I am lacked of skills and knowledge. I have never touched in this area before. How am I going to start about it? It really set me thinking. Keep assuring myself of being able to venture out and come back to teaching if everything fails. Hmph! Maybe I should really try to source out how to enter the limelight, lavish, metropolitan world.
Next, I hope mama's eyes are not a big issue. She has been delaying the course of treatment cos she has a big phobia in getting any eye treatment. Hmph! I am willing to spend every single cent to cure her eyes.
I had been seeing a friend and come to know more about loving someone. Loving someone means you have to learn to love every positive and negative part of this person. If you bear grudges against him/her, you do not love tis person as much as you think you are at all. I agree with both hands because I used to take revenge of some1 and he did the same to me. I was so angry in the past when he did tat to me. Now, I am embarking on a new journey. I do not know how much to contribute. I am really scared of putting in a lot of effort. I know 100% love existed but I dare not give in to that percentage. I want to let my guard down, however, I am weary of the future. How much of affirmation and assurance do I need to convince myself to go forward and never stop? Currently, I am being assured everyday. I have pretty no doubts about these statements. Perhaps the problem lies with me. It occurs most of the time when I am alone. I am also fearful of myself demanding a lot as days go by.